You Got the Love: Guest Post by Alex of Cow Bells of Narnia

Guest Post from the unquestionably, undeniably, and uber fashionable Alex of Cow Bells of Narnia whom I am lucky enough to call friend in R/L. Make her feel at home, check out her blog and do subscribe whilst you are there!

So my very fabulous and talented friend Mulika has kindly asked me to cover for her whilst she indulges in a spot of Balaeric Balminess (jalouse moi!!???). Allow me to introduce myself……..I am Alex Morris (or Alexandra Zoe Morris according to my passport). ….a few things I love..…playing the piano (have been known to tinckle the ivories at the beautiful Acne Showroom on Dover Street of a Saturday afternoon), Candi Staton, Halston, Primrose Hill of a dusky summer evening, mermaids,  Salinas Beach, Le Marais, Chopin, India (http://www.stylistatravelsinindia.blogspot.com/) the French Design Doyenne Andrée Putman, lake swimming, authenticity, birdsong.

Drawn to the world of fashion and luxury goods, I started my professional life in the press office at Vivienne Westwood followed by a stint at Agent Provocateur, moving on from there to mastermind events for De Beers Diamonds. In 2006 I decided to swap diamonds, kinckers and haute couture shows for swathes of sultry silk, Art Deco decadence and kalaidescopic colour charts, moving into the Interiors Industry, setting up my company Zook Interiors, (http://www.zookinteriors.co.uk/).

Whilst hurtling along a dusty road in an acid coloured tuk-tuk in Hampi, the idea for Cow Bells of Narnia was born, http://cowbellsofnarnia.tumblr.com/, it’s basically my musings on inspiration, whether from art, fashion, interiors or anywhere else at all!

With Spring in full bloom and the heady intoxicating vapours of honeysuckle, Magnolia and Cherry Blossoms lacing the air in the environs of Highgate Village my mind turns to new beginnings, new opportunities, chance encounters……..which is exactly how myself and Mulika met, which is a funny story in itself but I’ll keep it brief, save to say it involved a catwalk, silly dancing, & Brick Lane!

I’ve recently discovered this very apt quote from the writer Frank Herbert;

“The Mystery of Life isn’t a problem to be solved but a reality to experience”

Simple but true, I think often in the super fast technological age that we live in, we are always seeking to quantify, evaluate, explain, rationalize, conquer, master……at the detriment of missing the beauty to be found in the unexplained, the unquantifiable all around us every day, which if we can open our eyes and our hearts to, can guide us through life. 

So readers, I guess what I’m saying is keep an open mind, take a chance, do something crazy or ridiculous, talk to a stranger on the bus, smile instead of scowling at your fellow passengers and you might brighten someone’s day or even make a new friend, even if your hangover from the weekend is kicking in, or you are dreading a grilling from your boss, or you just can’t be bothered, do it anyway!

On a cold February morning, over 2 years ago now……turning up at The Old Truman Brewery feeling like a complete twat wondering why the hell I had agreed to embark on this bonkers idea with a bunch of complete randoms, little did I know that I would leave at the end of the day with a fabulous new friend and kindred spirit.

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An Essay on Brevity

The lovely Veshoevius  awarded me a Stylish Blogger Award and I must say it came as a surprise mainly because I was unaware of the award's existence. I am not sure what I have done to deserve the award but I am going to take it as the compliment I know it is. There are a few actions required to accept the award and that involves showing respect to the bestower and quite rightly so. The idea behind the award is that you pass it on to spread some blog love to other blogger you interact with. If nominated you are meant to do the following: 


1)Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award.
2)Share 7 things about yourself. 
3)Award 10 recently discovered great bloggers. 
4)Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.

I came across Veshoevius through FBFF and liked her immediately.  I follow her because I like her warm style of writing, her personal style and I find the gracefulness with which she wears dark colours quite refreshing and yes, inspiring. We also own the same maxi Marble Print silk dress (she bought it, blogged it and I had to have it)  So, once again, thank you Veshoevius for being a cool blog mate and for awarding me a stylish blogger.

You can check out her fantastic blog HERE

As part of being a 'Stylish Blogger' I am also to share 7 things about myself and you all know I can talk when I get going. I ought to promise to try and keep it as succinct as possible but we all know that brevity evades me at the best of times. Finally, after sharing, I get to pass on the Stylish Blogger Award to 10 recently discovered great bloggers, which I have to say I am particularly looking forward to.

You know what, it only takes a few minutes of processing before you (read: I) start liking the sound of it - Stylish Blogger - in your head. Try it if you don't believe me!


So, what would I like to share? An Actors training is meant to aid the shedding of that which we call ego, that which inhibits you by desiring you to be interesting, rather than allowing one to simply be... 


Okay, totally random but that leads me straight to my 1st disclosure. I am obsessed with Theatre Practice. The unreasonable passion and corporeal practice of creating and immersing oneself into that which we call Theatre. I love the reflective nature with which we approach our practice and best of all I love knowing that the process, often unseen, that we often spend an age married to lives longest. And that the performance is never an end point but rather a catalyst for a creative big-bang. Thus the cycle repeats. I love Theatre and always want it to be a part of my professional  life in one way or another.


My 2nd disclosure is relative. I really want a PhD, though I think this might have more to do with the Nigerian in me. I have a serious obsession with letters after my name which I thought was mildly satiated after gaining my Masters. Seriously. We moved to this fine country for a grand education after all, the kind (of education) with such gravitas attached that we had to leave our homeland to attain it, and I guess there is a part of me still battling with 'when is the debt really paid between old country of mind and new country of mine'. And I even wonder at times whether I am meant to take all I have learnt back 'home'. I could be the Augusto Boal of Lagos but oh, of course, I forgot myself for a moment, for I am home... So yeah, I think this 'disclosure' is pregnant with subtext and should not be read as a revelation to spend my 40s as a 5" heels wearing academic at Aberystwyth University Theatre department.


3rd disclosure is that I used to be a total control freak over what I was allowed to weigh. A lot of it had to do with work but I did not need much encouragement. I was fit and had enough stamina for the lifestyle I led. I got to believing I just could not put on weight. Pregnancy did not change my body bar stretch marks but I got to my late 20s' and things such as metabolism and all that sexy stuff started to shift and change. The days of being a model size 6 seemed a century ago but hey I was also naturally athletic so resorting to the gym was kind of a treat. I fell in love with a shrinking body whilst having regular sessions, like an addict, at Spin, Body pump, Circuit and Pilates classes. I was in control of my body once again and then I did the unmentionable. 10 months into a 1 year membership, I just stopped going.

Disclosure 4  I guess links well to the above in that having been married exactly 10 months today (Yes, I am still very much a newly-wed) , I am learning that lots of control devices we utilise in our daily life and interpersonal relationships are built on fear. Marriage is teaching me that I would rather deal with my fears than mask them under a guise for control.


At work and more recently at school, I use each environment as an exercise to observe my 'control monster' specially focusing on what fear trigger it responds to. I work often with others and I am aware of my role within groups. I embrace ensemble model of training and I initiate collaboration knowing my unique skill set is acknowledged and required. That way I remind myself that control can be manifested in a variety of shapes, many positive.


No.5 I like trashy TV. I don't get to watch quite enough but I would if I could. Things like Salt & Pepa R back, Cougars & Cubs locked up on a Desert Island, Notting Hill Residents 24/7, Australian Border Control, Come Dine with me repeats whilst complaining loudly that it is a repeat. Right now, I am making do with Model Agency but it is not grimy enough for me!


I am trying to make this a free-writing exercise - can you tell? - okay, no, well, on to no' 6 right? I cannot wait till summer. Why? Because we get to move into our family home. We are all being very patient about this but I need to move, I need space back in my life. I want all my shoes back, out of the holds of the Big Yellow Storage and re-established on my upper floor dressing room in made to measure shelves. 


And to the last, no.7, quite simple really. If there were a tablet you could take that would stop you being late, I would pop it without a second thought. My lateness makes me want to punch myself in the face at times and I apologise a hundred times to the human race for every person that has ever had to wait on me. Now, past and in the future. I am getting better, I swear.

Black Babooshka Cape & Turban / TSR Jersey mini insert / Pamela Mann tights / Jeffrey Campbell Boots 

I love these opportunity to commune with my readers and I do hope it is interesting for you to find out a bit about me other than my latest shoe obsession. 


If your name is below, it means you have been tagged and awarded the Stylish Blogger badge of honour. You know the rules and it would be very nice to hear seven things about yourselves. 

Make-up Addict  

Wardrobe Fetish  

Required 2 b Inspired  

Kennedy Holmes   

The Fashionista Next Door   

Electric Daze  

Country Girl Does Norfolk

Collections

Couture and Crumpets 

The Dusk Zone 

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You make me like Charity

Clowning scares me. Not in the 'mummy, don't let him near me' kind of way but more in the 'please, don't make me get up and be a clown' way. I realise that without the full Fame School back-story this opening sentence makes no sense so click HERE to get up to speed.

See, my problem is that I have an aversion to looking stupid. I swear it aggravates my psoriasis. And without looking stupid, we have no clown.

We have all had moments where we looked stupid unintentionally, right? Some of us have been unlucky in that these moments were captured, by someone that cared in their own special way, for posterity, and are sources of amusement for potential life-partners during visits to your folks (everyone should experience the photo-album ritual/humiliation) or for frenemies that lurk on your Facebook page, killing time by going through your tagged photos.

Three weeks into Clowning and I am at a total loss. I raided my wardrobe for an attire fitting of a clown but nothing I own (Sic!) seems to cut the mustard. In despair, I must venture to my local charity shop. My mission: to find an outfit for the clown within. If I must look stupidly ridiculous I might as well do it for a good cause, such as the Red Cross. See, I am no longer thinking of Clowning as me looking stupid but rather me giving back. Yes, I have, as of now, elevated my clowning endeavour to charitable status because I know me looking stupid will make many a people happy.

You can of course help by suggesting what the clown in me should wear!

Nastygal Jumpsuit / Supre Cropped Tee / Jean Pierre Braganza Fur Leather Jacket / Cherry Dr.Martens

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Gamblers & Losers

Came across the question 'What's the biggest gamble you have ever taken?' and thought answering it would be an interesting exercise in self-reflection. Or maybe not. Let's see...

The first major gamble of my adult life would be be the one I took upon as a 20 year old, by having a child and knowing I would be raising her on my own. And I did raise her on my own. For 9 long years that went ridiculously fast. This gamble totally paid off because as serious as I thought I was a person beforehand, becoming a mother & the responsibility that came with it, made me so much more so (serious). I stopped with the haphazard/luck-be-a-lady approach to life I had led up to that point and chose to allow myself to be anchored to something more constant.

This gamble introduced the notion of stability into my life and taught me to see the benefit of playing the 'long game'. How so? Well, for someone such as I used to be, a sucker for instant gratification, instant results & instant karma I learnt the value of sowing seeds and tending to them without worrying about the harvest.

Let's take my professional career for example, there was a point in my early 20s' that I came to believe that the window of opportunity was so short that I could not afford to say no to work. There was so much 'I' wanted to do, to achieve, to accomplish so much so that for the first few years I threw myself into work commitments without fully respecting my personal circumstance i.e our little family of two.

In a way, I denied the reality of my situation - in my mind, part of the gamble I had undertaken in having my child also involved me 'having it all' when it came to work. Otherwise I would be a failure mom, right? But having it all is never truly that because it comes at the detriment of other factors of your life so in truth you are not having it all but having 68% or 74% or a number equally as random.

So, I learnt to put 'I' aside and focus instead on 'us'. The gamble continued changing shape & I continued growing within the gamble. Being a great mom was more important than being the young new blood on the biggest agent's book. My child needed me more than I needed that level of validation (and believe me that is all that is) so I learnt to prioritise whilst being more directive. I re-evaluated, revised & rejigged my mid to long-term goals to make sure it made sense alongside the gamble. I became more self-less and to trust that all is and will be well because what you keep close to your heart will surely manifest. At no point did I stop dreaming, if anything I dreamt bigger because I wanted more for 'us' than I ever did just for me but I became more pragmatic about achieving my life goals.

My gamble was one that gave me many many sleepless nights, brought tears, anxiety and stress my way but it has also been the making of me. I am stronger a person, more patient, loving, supportive, empathic, generous, ambitious, strong-willed, demanding, resolute, successful...I could go on but put simply, I am more a person for having taken on that gamble.

It would be nice & neat to end by saying that I no longer regard it as a gamble but that would be untrue. I will end by sharing the essence of my learning over the past 9 years and a bit. Nothing is beyond us nor is anything too much for the human spirit to cope with, in fact, the spirit thrives under unfavourable circumstance. Ask Nelson Mandela if you don't believe me!

What is the biggest gamble you have ever taken? I would genuinely love to know :)

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Devaluation is a slow and corrosive process...

Devaluation (from the hands of others) as a tool to break down the spirit is something that is weighing heavily on my mind right now so to find this post is just like a balm to my soul. Thank you for writing this Valentine Hart you lovely lovely woman.

Please, if you do one thing this year, have a romance with yourself. You are so special, treat yourself to treasures, pour glitter into your soul. Surround yourself with all things that glow, and smile with every step you take. Romancing is lovely, and loving yourself is no selfish act. We only have this one chance, the here and the now, and we must embrace it – because there will be no room for regrets once this life passes. If you have regrets, you only have yourself to blame. Do not think of yourself as a commonplace being – you are not. I promise. Each breath you take, each kiss you make, they are all so special.

Connect you mind with your body, think about what you can do. Aren’t you simply marvellous? I know in the brief moment you read this you will think that you are special, and rightfully so. Hold on to that. No one should ever be allowed to take away your shine. Those who try to tarnish you simply do not understand – and more to the pity, because they will perhaps never understand, not really. Perhaps they will pretend to one day, but unless they embrace themselves wholeheartedly without any inhibitions, without any provisos, then they will only ever be half-present. And isn’t that a terrible thought? Could you imagine only being half-present in this extraordinary thing called life? Can you imagine all the things you would fail to notice? It simply does not bear thinking about; it would be a permanent case of the mean reds.

Do not converse with those who try to trivialise your achievements. Those who think that putting one foot in front of the other each day is commonplace. Because it is not. There are a million reasons why you do not want to get out of bed each morning, but the fact that you do – well, that is remarkable, and should be celebrated. If you are like me, you can sense other people’s pain and suffering, and that in itself is a terrible burden, but take it upon yourself to try to help, or to alleviate, the sufferer’s pain. Try to share some light, some perspective. Because we all know how important perspective is. Is life worth living if you cannot keep perspective?  

Courage and self-belief need to be nurtured. Like a fine flower. Because you are a fine flower, you really are. That does not mean you are perfect. Who is? But, who would want to be? Those cracks on your surface – well, they just make you that little more endearing. Continue being elusive, enigmatic. Continue being a little bit tragic, but a whole lot whimsy. Do not apologise for who you are.

Take the time to discover your weaknesses, those blemishes beneath your skin, those flaws in your personality, and pour your love into them. They deserve your love. Do not take your love for granted, it is something to be invested and that investment must be in yourself, your real self. Not the mask you wear for the world to see. 

Begin that romance, now.

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Luvvie in Training

Most people get to a certain age and decide to take up BASE jumping, have a second child or go for that promotion at work. I decided what I needed was to play.

So, I enrolled at a CDS Drama school (10 years later than planned). Play comes in the form of 40+ hours a week attending classes in Acting for Stage, Clowning, Stage Combat, Singing, RP, Voice, Pure Movement, Accents & Dialects, Sight Reading, Acting for Radio, Voice-Over, Poetry Recitation, Improvisation, Dramaturgy, Mime, Contact Improvisation, Story-Telling, Animal Studies, Mask, Oration & Political Speech, Yoga, Acting for Television, Feldenkrais and others I can't think of right now. And yes, I have personified the elements and nature on many occasions.

I might reference these arsenal of skills I am acquiring every now and then whilst using wanky terminology such as 'arsenal of skills' but do not be put off; My feet are firmly placed on the ground, encased in my newest pair of 5" heels!

(image source: weheartit)

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